Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Marc Maron to End His Long-Running WTF Podcast - Pitchfork

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

AI Cracks Mars Mystery: 500,000 Streaks Solved Without a Drop of Water - SciTechDaily

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Do individuals with borderline personality disorder have awareness of their actions or do they believe their behavior is normal?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why do SpaceX rockets keep exploding? - The Verge

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Can you tell me a depressing story?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Death threats to Astros pitcher Lance McCullers Jr. came from "overseas" resident - NBC Sports

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Report: Suns, Kevin Durant’s representatives sorting through multiple trade offers - NBC Sports

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

'Housewives' Exec Assistant and Mom of 2 Dies 'Moments After Giving Birth' to Son - TODAY.com

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Mars isn’t Red? The Planet is Actually… - The Daily Galaxy

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

California schools are very liberal. Do you think California schools are teaching students to hate Republican views (views on: God, guns, prayer, secure borders, etc.)?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

New Jersey Man Arrested for Stealing Instruments From Heart - Rolling Stone

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Former Red Sox All-Star Designated For Assignment One Day After Season Debut - NESN

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Glory 100 Kickboxing Livestream: Here’s How to Watch Rico Verhoeven vs. Artem Vakhitov Online - Variety

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I see through liars

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane